Journalists demand I destroy beer. Or they might sue me.
I hire an attorney to fight the nation’s largest journalism organization. It’s laughable.
Nothing cures insomnia like a journalist hosting webinar.
Fanatical Christians are making coronavirus headlines. One Orthodox Jew is writing them.
Four ways COVID-19 is just like a hurricane – at least on the American psyche.
Let’s destroy some college newspapers.
While I was at a convention for journalists, a convention for physicists was cancelled.
The College Media Association doesn’t know much, but they know I shouldn’t have “contact with students.”
The College Media Association doesn’t want me to associate with me anymore. I’m not “safe and welcoming.”
Student Press Freedom Day will hurt the press a lot more than it’ll help. Why? Because it’s nothing but whining.
My favorite news from 2019 was fake.
Because “boring” equals “learning.”
The nation’s photojournalists attacked a rural reporter for sharing his own pictures.
What happens if you publicly accuse someone of racism at a journalism convention? Nothing.
I’ll denounce and defend the woman who’s accused me of racism and sexism.
This week’s mega-journalism convention has a “code of conduct” for the first time ever. So stop staring and don’t draw anything offensive.
Should journalism organizations boycott Fox News? That answer requires more questions.
The Washington Post is hiring videogame reporters. Apply now.
If you want journalists to hate journalism, just put them in charge of something. Anything.
Here’s how reporters can ethically deceive Trump supporters to protect themselves. And they get a free T-shirt.
Journalists are better at criticizing Twitter than using it.
SPJ’s president insulted and shouted down board members. I wrote about my sex life. SPJ says both are equally bad.
Want to learn how to run a meeting? Here’s what not to do. Compliments of the Society of Professional Journalists.
I wonder what kind of sex I’d be having if I was good at math.
Here are 6 things you’re not supposed to know. Like No. 5: Sometimes, we don’t even look at the entries.
Fraternities love to tell college journalists, “You’re not better than us!” They’re wrong. Journalists are WAY better.
Only j-school professors do. Their students don’t know who Frank Sinatra is – er, was.
A graphic look at the demise of the nation’s largest college newspaper. And one of the smallest.
Think Hollywood is liberal? Not when it comes to the Constitution. And not in front of the Constitution.
Anti-gun activists are heading to Disney World to protest. Here are 5 reasons they won’t intimidate the Mouse.
Cover one meeting in Alabama and you’ll get paid and maybe even arrested.
When is it OK for a journalist to tweet about a guy’s “giant dick”? Unless the story is actually about his giant dick, the answer is never.
Are college newspapers really dying? Or are they just committing suicide?
I’ll pay you $1,000 to write about this woman’s struggle with Google.
If you run a college newspaper that’s running out of money, win a free visit from a sales expert.
One unhappy videogame journalist reminds me of four lessons I learned three years ago.
I’ll pay college journalists to write about unpaid internships.
What happens when you write about 50 Shades of Grey from a consumer-friendly angle? It’s torture.
The nation’s most prestigious newspaper doesn’t understand most of the nation.
College journalists suck at social media campaigns.
When will the news media start covering the pot beat? Today is the perfect time to start.
I also have a beef with David Hogg.
A Pennsylvania legislator publicly attacks a college journalist – and gets taught a lesson he refuses to learn.
2025? 2050? Or in the next few years?
He’s a quiet copyeditor named Bill.
I became a journalist because I faced discrimination growing up Jewish – mostly from other Jews.
He just lost his federal court case and won’t get his job back. But now he can teach the conspiracy class he’s always wanted.
How do you convert a PhD communications professor into a conspiracy theorist? Ignore him.
And teaching hospitals won’t save them.
The guns are black, but the magazines are white.
Not surprisingly, they think adults are morons. What is surprising: Their mistrust of today’s journalism.
College students hate me when I don’t volunteer my time to make their lives better.
Last week, The American Spectator ripped one of my events. Which is fine. Not fine: Interviewing me for an hour and running not one quote.
Once the scourge of the South, America’s original terrorists are now writing letters to college newspapers, begging for some peace, love, and understanding.
When you ban hate speech, you give its speakers power they don’t deserve – and don’t really have.
Journalists should critique both sides. Which means no one takes our side.
It hurts just the same, but one side adds insult to the injuries.
For a few brief days after the storm, the news goes back a quarter of a century.
This one does – until tomorrow, when she’s being ousted for a black woman.
I’m an editor in search of a pro-Trump columnist. But you won’t write about politics.
Today, I subscribed to a magazine that’s so good, it would never hire me to write for them.
At least, I think that’s why. LinkedIn isn’t talking to me. And that’s hilarious.
When does sexy lurch into sexism? Is there a difference between arousal and objectification? I don’t have a clue. Maybe you do. Look at these mock magazine covers and rate them.
Despite the conservative outrage, CNN fired the pro-Trump pundit for the right reasons. But despite the liberal smugness, it also hired him for the right reasons.
Sure, it’s sexist. But journalists don’t invent the news, they just cover it. So let’s do sexist better.
How does a public university fire an unpaid volunteer from a student newspaper? Not very well.
The New York Times asks me for an interview. I’ve received better-written emails from Nigerian princes.
I’m a “sexist troll” who deserves “a little more public shaming” because I designed this T-shirt. So says a herd of data journalists.
Who sends an actor to interview an escaped murderer? If Rolling Stone covered music like it covers news, no one would ever read it.
When journalists don’t censor themselves, the terrorists win.
I figured I’d spend a few minutes unraveling the GamerGate shit storm. I mean, how long could it take?
It’s just as important to know what a hiring editor ISN’T looking for.
The Society of Professional Journalists updates its celebrated Ethics Code – secretly and unethically.
College editors: Don’t do another unfunny April Fool’s parody issue. SPJ’s Ethics Week is every April, and I’ll bribe you to sodomize and disembowel SPJ’s vaunted Code of Ethics.
If you write a Pulitzer-winning story and no one reads it, doesn’t everyone lose?
Well, actually, it’s almost all bad news.
They’re always late, usually drunk, and way too easy on journalists.
Why educate by raising up when you can amuse by stooping low?
If you can interview a zombie, you can interview anyone alive. We’ll give you the shirts and the blood to do just that.
This year: a seizure during dinner.
Which would you rather hold?
Return to the days when you needed to know your words and how to spell them. And then drink heavily.
We put the “fun” in funeral and the “bit” in obituary.
Yes, Virginia, there still are journalism jobs out there.
Why do so many music writers care more about music than writing?
This year: The toilet backed up, and one source was missing a part of his skull. But the good news is, the grant money didn’t run out.
The nation’s largest journalism organization sure doesn’t think big.
I serve on SPJ’s national board. This is called crapping where you eat.
What happens when you let journalists do anything they want, offer them free beer and pizza, and let them work on the beach? Some don’t show up, and others freak out and leave.
When a straight college grad took an editing job at a gay newspaper, homosexuality had nothing to do with his decision.
Daily Show writers know more about the news than daily journalists. Who’s fake now?
Her name has been changed and the photos have been cropped, but everything else is the naked truth.
This year: A homeless man masturbates in front of a student, but she handles it better than he did.
If you can’t survive without your phone, imagine college journalists publishing a newspaper without computers. It’s grim.
College students think it’ll be “fun” to publish a newspaper without computers. Fools.
If you can apply for a Labor Day weekend in a homeless shelter, you can successfully apply for any job.
If you want to work on Labor Day, read on.
A city attorney says he’s “unable not to respond” to charges that the police force is “not doing what it’s never done and is not doing now.” For this, he’s paid $240,000 a year.
Civil disobedience with cameras gets meta when photographers cover it.
If you want to survive in this business, get used to getting fired. Then get over it.
You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water on a newspaper, it becomes unreadable.
If you don’t think your parents understand you, try discussing journalism with your college administrators.
Next time college administrators say your paper sucks, tell ’em to go fukc themselves.
Here’s a reverse-clickbait headline: You WILL believe number one. But the others probably never occurred to you.
Not sure if yours sucks? Study the signs.
If you want a journalism job, don’t listen to your journalism school.
Nothing’s more hypocritical than a thin-skinned journalist, and everyone in this story is both.