Journalists demand I destroy beer. Or they might sue me.
Let’s destroy some college newspapers.
Last week, The American Spectator ripped one of my events. Which is fine. Not fine: Interviewing me for an hour and running not one quote.
College editors: Don’t do another unfunny April Fool’s parody issue. SPJ’s Ethics Week is every April, and I’ll bribe you to sodomize and disembowel SPJ’s vaunted Code of Ethics.
They’re always late, usually drunk, and way too easy on journalists.
If you can interview a zombie, you can interview anyone alive. We’ll give you the shirts and the blood to do just that.
This year: a seizure during dinner.
Return to the days when you needed to know your words and how to spell them. And then drink heavily.
We put the “fun” in funeral and the “bit” in obituary.
This year: The toilet backed up, and one source was missing a part of his skull. But the good news is, the grant money didn’t run out.
What happens when you let journalists do anything they want, offer them free beer and pizza, and let them work on the beach? Some don’t show up, and others freak out and leave.
This year: A homeless man masturbates in front of a student, but she handles it better than he did.
If you can’t survive without your phone, imagine college journalists publishing a newspaper without computers. It’s grim.
College students think it’ll be “fun” to publish a newspaper without computers. Fools.
If you can apply for a Labor Day weekend in a homeless shelter, you can successfully apply for any job.
If you want to work on Labor Day, read on.