Journalists demand I destroy beer. Or they might sue me.
Journalism is fun. Journalism training is boring. Here are examples of learning by doing. Want to try crap like this? We’ll give you money, guns, drugs, and lawyers.
Let’s destroy some college newspapers.
ALLAH BE CRAZED
Last week, The American Spectator ripped one of my events. Which is fine. Not fine: Interviewing me for an hour and running not one quote.
DEFILE SPJ’S CODE OF ETHICS & WIN!
College editors: Don’t do another unfunny April Fool’s parody issue. SPJ’s Ethics Week is every April, and I’ll bribe you to sodomize and disembowel SPJ’s vaunted Code of Ethics.
6 LESSONS ZOMBIES TAUGHT ME
They’re always late, usually drunk, and way too easy on journalists.
INTERVIEWING 30 ZOMBIES IN NEW ORLEANS
If you can interview a zombie, you can interview anyone alive. We’ll give you the shirts and the blood to do just that.
WWFF13: EXPLAINING WITHOUT EXPLOITING
This year: a seizure during dinner.
FUCK WORDS WITH FRIENDS
Return to the days when you needed to know your words and how to spell them. And then drink heavily.
WRITING QUICKLY ABOUT DYING SLOWLY
We put the “fun” in funeral and the “bit” in obituary.
WWFF12’s BEST AND WEIRDEST MOMENTS
This year: The toilet backed up, and one source was missing a part of his skull. But the good news is, the grant money didn’t run out.
TOO MUCH FREEDOM OF THE PRESS
What happens when you let journalists do anything they want, offer them free beer and pizza, and let them work on the beach? Some don’t show up, and others freak out and leave.
HELTER SKELTER IN A HOMELESS SHELTER
This year: A homeless man masturbates in front of a student, but she handles it better than he did.
HOW TO BUILD A NEWSROOM TIME MACHINE
If you can’t survive without your phone, imagine college journalists publishing a newspaper without computers. It’s grim.
HOW TO HAVE A PAPER BALL
College students think it’ll be “fun” to publish a newspaper without computers. Fools.
SOME COVER LETTERS THAT TRULY MATTER
If you can apply for a Labor Day weekend in a homeless shelter, you can successfully apply for any job.
HOLIDAY IN A HOMELESS SHELTER? APPLY HERE
If you want to work on Labor Day, read on.