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news by KoretzkyNov 6, 20228:49 amNov 6, 2022

HOW TO MAKE PROJECT VERITAS LOOK GOOD

Project Veritas has lost lawsuits, respect, and all credibility as a news outlet – until SPJ accidentally helped them out. It’d be funny if a woman’s life hasn’t been ruined.

pro by KoretzkyNov 2, 20221:57 pmNov 2, 2022
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Cover of XS magazine

HOW NEWSROOMS BECOME OFFICES

Newsrooms look like insurance offices. So it’s no surprise they read like insurance policies.

news by KoretzkyMay 6, 20222:56 pmMay 6, 2022
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CEASE AND RESIST

Journalists demand I destroy beer. Or they might sue me.

news by KoretzkyFeb 9, 202210:02 amFeb 10, 2022
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THE FUNNY THING ABOUT CENSORSHIP

I hire an attorney to fight the nation’s largest journalism organization. It’s laughable.

pro by KoretzkyApr 29, 20207:29 am

WEBINARCOLEPSY

Nothing cures insomnia like a journalist hosting webinar.

news by KoretzkyApr 9, 20201:05 pmApr 17, 2020
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OY VEY, IT’S COVID-19!

Fanatical Christians are making coronavirus headlines. One Orthodox Jew is writing them.

news by KoretzkyApr 5, 20208:43 amApr 5, 2020
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CORONACANE

Four ways COVID-19 is just like a hurricane – at least on the American psyche.

college by KoretzkyMar 19, 20201:55 pmMar 19, 2020
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CHICKEN SALAD

Let’s destroy some college newspapers.

news by KoretzkyMar 2, 20201:03 pmMar 2, 2020
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CORONAVIRUS & CONVENTIONS

While I was at a convention for journalists, a convention for physicists was cancelled.

college by KoretzkyFeb 19, 20209:41 amFeb 19, 2020
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AMATEUR HOUR

The College Media Association doesn’t know much, but they know I shouldn’t have “contact with students.”

college by KoretzkyFeb 12, 20201:36 pm
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ONE MAN BANNED

The College Media Association doesn’t want me to associate with me anymore. I’m not “safe and welcoming.”

college by KoretzkyJan 28, 20209:02 am
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BLAND OF THE FREE

Student Press Freedom Day will hurt the press a lot more than it’ll help. Why? Because it’s nothing but whining.

news by KoretzkyJan 21, 20209:22 amJan 27, 2020
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WHERE THERE’S JOKE, THERE’S IRE

My favorite news from 2019 was fake.

college by KoretzkyNov 21, 20199:13 am

WHY CAN’T JOURNALISM BE FUN?

Because “boring” equals “learning.”

news by KoretzkyOct 31, 20199:42 pmNov 1, 2019
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PHOTO GAFFE

The nation’s photojournalists attacked a rural reporter for sharing his own pictures.

news by KoretzkySep 24, 20195:00 pmSep 24, 2019
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CODE DEAD

What happens if you publicly accuse someone of racism at a journalism convention? Nothing.

news by KoretzkySep 16, 20192:30 pmOct 31, 2019
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DIVERSITY BULLY

I’ll denounce and defend the woman who’s accused me of racism and sexism.

news by KoretzkySep 3, 201910:03 amSep 3, 2019
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DARE TO STARE

This week’s mega-journalism convention has a “code of conduct” for the first time ever. So stop staring and don’t draw anything offensive.

news by KoretzkyAug 24, 20194:34 pmAug 24, 2019
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HOW TO OUT-FOX YOURSELF

Should journalism organizations boycott Fox News? That answer requires more questions.

news by KoretzkyJul 28, 20194:38 pmJul 28, 2019
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POST GAME REPORT

The Washington Post is hiring videogame reporters. Apply now.

news by KoretzkyJul 23, 201910:00 amJul 27, 2019
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WHEN JOURNALISTS HATE THE TRUTH

If you want journalists to hate journalism, just put them in charge of something. Anything.

news by KoretzkyJun 27, 20192:27 pmJun 27, 2019
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ORANGE ARMOR

Here’s how reporters can ethically deceive Trump supporters to protect themselves. And they get a free T-shirt.

sex etc. by KoretzkyJun 17, 20199:11 amJul 23, 2019
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THE IRONY OF JOURNALISTS ON TWITTER

Journalists are better at criticizing Twitter than using it.

sex etc. by KoretzkyJun 10, 20198:59 amJul 23, 2019
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IMPEACH ME? IMPEACH YOU!

SPJ’s president insulted and shouted down board members. I wrote about my sex life. SPJ says both are equally bad.

news by KoretzkyJun 3, 20199:43 amFeb 9, 2022

IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT (OF SPJ)

Want to learn how to run a meeting? Here’s what not to do. Compliments of the Society of Professional Journalists.

sex etc. by KoretzkyApr 11, 20199:31 pmJun 7, 2019
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NEWS TO ME

I wonder what kind of sex I’d be having if I was good at math.

pro by KoretzkyDec 26, 201811:22 amDec 29, 2018
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photo of a contest judge with two guns to his head

CONFESSIONS OF A JOURNALISM CONTEST JUDGE

Here are 6 things you’re not supposed to know. Like No. 5: Sometimes, we don’t even look at the entries.

college by KoretzkySep 5, 20189:51 amSep 5, 2018
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Frat shirt and press shirt

FRAT vs. PRESS

Fraternities love to tell college journalists, “You’re not better than us!” They’re wrong. Journalists are WAY better.

college by KoretzkyAug 30, 20181:05 pmAug 30, 2018
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Frank Sinatra looking tough.

WHO CARES IF FRANK SINATRA WAS SICK?

Only j-school professors do. Their students don’t know who Frank Sinatra is – er, was.

college by KoretzkyJul 18, 201811:22 amJul 18, 2018
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SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR

A graphic look at the demise of the nation’s largest college newspaper. And one of the smallest.

news by KoretzkyJun 30, 20187:30 amJul 9, 2018
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SUPER ZERO

Think Hollywood is liberal? Not when it comes to the Constitution. And not in front of the Constitution.

news by KoretzkyJun 18, 20181:40 pmJun 26, 2018
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Mickey Mouse with golden gun

A DISNEY WORLD “DIE-IN” WILL FAIL

Anti-gun activists are heading to Disney World to protest. Here are 5 reasons they won’t intimidate the Mouse.

news by KoretzkyJun 11, 20183:27 pmJun 14, 2018
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Paint Rock in northeast Alabama

FREE PRESS EXPRESS

Cover one meeting in Alabama and you’ll get paid and maybe even arrested.

news by KoretzkyJun 7, 20184:56 pmJun 7, 2018
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Elon Musk holding up his hands against a backdrop of penises

MUSK’S TUSK

When is it OK for a journalist to tweet about a guy’s “giant dick”? Unless the story is actually about his giant dick, the answer is never.

college by KoretzkyMay 30, 201811:51 amJun 12, 2018
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Student journalist surrounded by forks and knives

IF RESTAURANTS RAN LIKE COLLEGE PAPERS, DINERS WOULD STARVE TO DEATH

Are college newspapers really dying? Or are they just committing suicide?

news by KoretzkyMay 24, 201810:36 amMay 24, 2018
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Harmeet Dhillon

GOOGLE IS A BRICK WALL. GET PAID TO POKE HOLES IN IT

I’ll pay you $1,000 to write about this woman’s struggle with Google.

college by KoretzkyMay 16, 20184:42 pmApr 28, 2019
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Rolled-up newspaper and rolls of bills

PAPER MONEY

If you run a college newspaper that’s running out of money, win a free visit from a sales expert.

news by KoretzkyMay 12, 20185:46 pmMay 25, 2018
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Jason Schreier

THE THIN-SKINNED WINNER

One unhappy videogame journalist reminds me of four lessons I learned three years ago.

college by KoretzkyMay 1, 201812:39 pmMay 2, 2018
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Illustrating unpaid internships

UNPAID INTERNS: SLAVES WHO PAY TUITION

I’ll pay college journalists to write about unpaid internships.

sex etc. by KoretzkyApr 30, 20189:33 amApr 30, 2018
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A woman with a blindfold on lies against a red leather couch enjoying her S&M.

50 SHADES OF PAY

What happens when you write about 50 Shades of Grey from a consumer-friendly angle? It’s torture.

news by KoretzkyApr 26, 20183:18 pm
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Illustration of a New York elitist studying pancakes

THE NEW YORK TIMES IS BAFFLED BY WAFFLES

The nation’s most prestigious newspaper doesn’t understand most of the nation.

college by KoretzkyApr 25, 20186:39 am
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Woman reporter amid a field of question marks

IGNORANT ABOUT AWARENESS

College journalists suck at social media campaigns.

sex etc. by KoretzkyApr 20, 20185:14 amApr 26, 2018
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420 pot logo

HIGH HOLIDAYS

When will the news media start covering the pot beat? Today is the perfect time to start.

news by KoretzkyApr 11, 20181:19 pmApr 14, 2018
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David Hogg

HOGGING THE SPOTLIGHT

I also have a beef with David Hogg.

college by KoretzkyApr 4, 20189:11 amApr 4, 2018
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DOUBLE-DOWN SYNDROME

A Pennsylvania legislator publicly attacks a college journalist – and gets taught a lesson he refuses to learn.

news by KoretzkyJan 31, 201812:14 pmJan 31, 2018
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Stephen Totilo

WHEN WILL A VIDEO GAME JOURNALIST WIN A PULITZER PRIZE?

2025? 2050? Or in the next few years?

news by KoretzkyDec 20, 20172:50 pmDec 20, 2017
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Trump and Krishna

HOW A HINDU JOURNALIST BECAME A TRUMP FANATIC

He’s a quiet copyeditor named Bill.

sex etc. by KoretzkyDec 15, 201710:22 amDec 20, 2017
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Jew illustration

BAD JEWS ARE GOOD NEWS

I became a journalist because I faced discrimination growing up Jewish – mostly from other Jews.

college by KoretzkyDec 11, 20174:10 pmDec 15, 2017
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James Tracy

JAMES TRACY’S NEXT CLASS

He just lost his federal court case and won’t get his job back. But now he can teach the conspiracy class he’s always wanted.

college by KoretzkyDec 6, 20179:19 amDec 6, 2017
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James Tracy on TV

HOW DO SMART PEOPLE BECOME STUPID? THEY TURN BITTER

How do you convert a PhD communications professor into a conspiracy theorist? Ignore him.

college by KoretzkyNov 22, 20179:36 amMar 26, 2018
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Surgeon holding pencil

JOURNALISM SCHOOLS ARE ON LIFE SUPPORT

And teaching hospitals won’t save them.

news by KoretzkyNov 14, 20178:42 amDec 10, 2017
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Black Guns cover

“BLACK GUNS” ISN’T FOR BLACK GUN OWNERS. IS ANY GUN MAGAZINE?

The guns are black, but the magazines are white.

news by KoretzkyNov 8, 20179:24 amApr 20, 2018
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"For rectal use only" stickers

WHAT TEENS THINK OF THE NEWS MEDIA

Not surprisingly, they think adults are morons. What is surprising: Their mistrust of today’s journalism.

college by KoretzkyNov 2, 20176:59 amApr 22, 2018
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Michael Koretzky

HARSH ON PURPOSE

College students hate me when I don’t volunteer my time to make their lives better.

events by KoretzkyOct 23, 20174:58 pmNov 1, 2017
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Mosque illustration

ALLAH BE CRAZED

Last week, The American Spectator ripped one of my events. Which is fine. Not fine: Interviewing me for an hour and running not one quote.

college by KoretzkyOct 10, 20178:26 amNov 7, 2017
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KKK snowflake

THE KKK ARE WHINY LITTLE SNOWFLAKES

Once the scourge of the South, America’s original terrorists are now writing letters to college newspapers, begging for some peace, love, and understanding.

news by KoretzkyOct 3, 20173:00 pmOct 4, 2017
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Illustration of Hitler with a swastika covering his mouth

LET NAZIS TALK

When you ban hate speech, you give its speakers power they don’t deserve – and don’t really have.

news by KoretzkySep 27, 201710:16 amSep 28, 2017
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Immigrants at Ellis Island in the 1920s.

WHAT I SAY WHEN I’M ASKED ABOUT IMMIGRATION

Journalists should critique both sides. Which means no one takes our side.

news by KoretzkySep 19, 201712:00 pmSep 19, 2017
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Getting punched in the face

I’D RATHER GET BEATEN UP BY CONSERVATIVES THAN LIBERALS

It hurts just the same, but one side adds insult to the injuries.

news by KoretzkySep 14, 20179:12 amJun 19, 2019
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HOW HURRICANES HELP CRANKY OLD JOURNALISTS

For a few brief days after the storm, the news goes back a quarter of a century.

news by KoretzkySep 9, 201712:17 pmSep 10, 2017
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SPJ diversity chair Dori Zinn smiles.

CAN A STRAIGHT WHITE WOMAN LEAD A DIVERSITY COMMITTEE?

This one does – until tomorrow, when she’s being ousted for a black woman.

news by KoretzkyAug 31, 20177:08 amAug 31, 2017
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Illustration of President Trump in the Oval Office, with hand over face.

I’LL PAY YOU TO WRITE NICE THINGS ABOUT TRUMP…

I’m an editor in search of a pro-Trump columnist. But you won’t write about politics.

news by KoretzkyAug 24, 201710:07 amAug 24, 2017
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collage of celebrities reading magazines

THE BEST MAG FOR THE WORST TIMES

Today, I subscribed to a magazine that’s so good, it would never hire me to write for them.

sex etc. by KoretzkyAug 22, 20177:28 amDec 13, 2018
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LinkedIn notice of Michael Koretzky's account being restricted

I JUST GOT KICKED OFF LINKEDIN – FOR JOKING ABOUT LINKEDIN

At least, I think that’s why. LinkedIn isn’t talking to me. And that’s hilarious.

sex etc. by KoretzkyAug 15, 20176:51 pmAug 21, 2017
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Naked couple in bed reading newspapers

THE SEXIST TEST

When does sexy lurch into sexism? Is there a difference between arousal and objectification? I don’t have a clue. Maybe you do. Look at these mock magazine covers and rate them.

news by KoretzkyAug 14, 201710:11 amAug 15, 2017
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Photo of Jeffrey Lord over collage of Hitler photos

IN DEFENSE OF JEFFREY LORD

Despite the conservative outrage, CNN fired the pro-Trump pundit for the right reasons. But despite the liberal smugness, it also hired him for the right reasons.

sex etc. by KoretzkyAug 2, 20179:10 amAug 29, 2017
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A collage of photos of young women holding up signs that say, "Gooo Cocks."

LET’S TALK ABOUT COCKS

Sure, it’s sexist. But journalists don’t invent the news, they just cover it. So let’s do sexist better.

news by KoretzkyMay 22, 20177:52 amAug 2, 2017
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An illustration of V for Vendetta altered to V for Volunteer

VOLUNTEER VILLAIN

How does a public university fire an unpaid volunteer from a student newspaper? Not very well.

news by KoretzkyJun 16, 201612:29 pmAug 2, 2017
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Illustration of New York Times reporter with his hand over his face.

NYT WTF?

The New York Times asks me for an interview. I’ve received better-written emails from Nigerian princes.

news by KoretzkyFeb 3, 20165:41 amAug 2, 2017
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A data journalism T-shirt design that says, "Clean data, dirty minds"

DATA QUEENS

I’m a “sexist troll” who deserves “a little more public shaming” because I designed this T-shirt. So says a herd of data journalists.

news by KoretzkyJan 12, 20168:36 amAug 2, 2017
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Screenshot of Rolling Stone's homepage showing Sean Penn with El Chapo

ROLLING STONE IS THE REALITY TV OF ETHICAL JOURNALISM

Who sends an actor to interview an escaped murderer? If Rolling Stone covered music like it covers news, no one would ever read it.

sex etc. by KoretzkyJul 7, 201511:10 amAug 2, 2017
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CENSORING OURSELVES

When journalists don’t censor themselves, the terrorists win.

news by KoretzkyMay 4, 20154:06 amMay 9, 2018
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What an SPJ game controller might look like.

MEDIA ETHICS ISN’T A GAME

I figured I’d spend a few minutes unraveling the GamerGate shit storm. I mean, how long could it take?

advice by KoretzkyJun 5, 201410:33 amApr 21, 2018
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A HALF-CRAZY FULL-TIME JOB

It’s just as important to know what a hiring editor ISN’T looking for.

news by KoretzkyApr 8, 20147:16 amAug 3, 2017
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SOME ETHICS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS

The Society of Professional Journalists updates its celebrated Ethics Code – secretly and unethically.

events by KoretzkyMar 20, 20149:36 amAug 2, 2017
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An illustration saying "SIn and WIn" with a skelton wearing a fedora and press pass, clutching a beer.

DEFILE SPJ’S CODE OF ETHICS & WIN!

College editors: Don’t do another unfunny April Fool’s parody issue. SPJ’s Ethics Week is every April, and I’ll bribe you to sodomize and disembowel SPJ’s vaunted Code of Ethics.

news by KoretzkyMar 17, 20147:17 amAug 2, 2017
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WHAT DOES A PULITZER REALLY COST?

If you write a Pulitzer-winning story and no one reads it, doesn’t everyone lose?

news by KoretzkyJan 8, 20146:34 amAug 2, 2017
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BAD NEWS & GOOD NEWS FOR THE NEWS

Well, actually, it’s almost all bad news.

events by KoretzkyNov 2, 201311:03 amAug 2, 2017
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6 LESSONS ZOMBIES TAUGHT ME

They’re always late, usually drunk, and way too easy on journalists.

sex etc. by KoretzkyOct 17, 20137:00 amAug 2, 2017
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5 IMMATURE ATTEMPTS TO PERSUADE HIGH-SCHOOL JOURNALISTS TO MASTER PHOTOSHOP

Why educate by raising up when you can amuse by stooping low?

events by KoretzkySep 20, 20137:33 amAug 2, 2017
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Two college students wearing Zombie Stories shirts, covered in fake blood.

INTERVIEWING 30 ZOMBIES IN NEW ORLEANS

If you can interview a zombie, you can interview anyone alive. We’ll give you the shirts and the blood to do just that.

events by KoretzkySep 12, 20137:24 amAug 2, 2017
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WWFF13: EXPLAINING WITHOUT EXPLOITING

This year: a seizure during dinner.

pro by KoretzkyMar 4, 20135:01 pmNov 11, 2017
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A rack of magazines at Publix.

AMERICAN MAGAZINES: GUNS GOOD, BOOBS BAD

Which would you rather hold?

events by KoretzkyFeb 25, 20138:44 amAug 2, 2017
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The logo for the Fuck Words With Friends event.

FUCK WORDS WITH FRIENDS

Return to the days when you needed to know your words and how to spell them. And then drink heavily.

events by KoretzkyJan 5, 20134:49 pmJan 9, 2018
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WRITING QUICKLY ABOUT DYING SLOWLY

We put the “fun” in funeral and the “bit” in obituary.

lessons by KoretzkyJan 1, 20135:35 pmAug 2, 2017
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Paper that reads, "The future belongs to the few of us still willing to get our hands dirty."

STUDENTS: DON’T READ A NEWSPAPER, WORK AT ONE

Yes, Virginia, there still are journalism jobs out there.

advice by KoretzkyDec 26, 20124:53 pmAug 31, 2017
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Eight JAZZIZ magazine covers from the past.

10 TIPS FOR SHITTY MUSIC REVIEWING

Why do so many music writers care more about music than writing?

events by KoretzkySep 4, 20124:23 pmApr 20, 2018
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WWFF12’s BEST AND WEIRDEST MOMENTS

This year: The toilet backed up, and one source was missing a part of his skull. But the good news is, the grant money didn’t run out.

news by KoretzkyAug 22, 20126:17 pmAug 2, 2017
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HOW SHOULD SPJ COVER JOURNALISM?

The nation’s largest journalism organization sure doesn’t think big.

news by KoretzkyAug 18, 201210:04 amAug 2, 2017
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The Red and Black's publisher tackles a University of Georgia student reporter and escorts him out of the newsroom.

THE RED AND BLACKOUT: What SPJ told me not to say

I serve on SPJ’s national board. This is called crapping where you eat.

events by KoretzkyAug 13, 201211:45 amAug 2, 2017
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TOO MUCH FREEDOM OF THE PRESS

What happens when you let journalists do anything they want, offer them free beer and pizza, and let them work on the beach? Some don’t show up, and others freak out and leave.

sex etc. by KoretzkyJun 13, 20128:43 pmAug 2, 2017
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HOMO MEDIA PHOBIA: IT’S FLAMING OUT

When a straight college grad took an editing job at a gay newspaper, homosexuality had nothing to do with his decision.

lessons by KoretzkyMar 26, 20129:02 amJan 31, 2018
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Portrait of Daily Show host John Stewart

WHAT THE DAILY SHOW CAN TEACH JOURNALISM STUDENTS

Daily Show writers know more about the news than daily journalists. Who’s fake now?

sex etc. by KoretzkyNov 1, 201112:39 amOct 30, 2017
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Three sexy photos of a stripper I once dated.

AN UNSEXY STORY: THE EDITOR AND THE STRIPPER

Her name has been changed and the photos have been cropped, but everything else is the naked truth.

events by KoretzkySep 8, 20118:49 amAug 2, 2017
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HELTER SKELTER IN A HOMELESS SHELTER

This year: A homeless man masturbates in front of a student, but she handles it better than he did.

events by KoretzkyAug 2, 201112:23 amMar 22, 2018
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HOW TO BUILD A NEWSROOM TIME MACHINE

If you can’t survive without your phone, imagine college journalists publishing a newspaper without computers. It’s grim.

events by KoretzkyJul 26, 20111:51 pmAug 2, 2017
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HOW TO HAVE A PAPER BALL

College students think it’ll be “fun” to publish a newspaper without computers. Fools.

events by KoretzkyJul 18, 20118:18 amAug 2, 2017
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A college student with hand over face as she works in a homeless shelter.

SOME COVER LETTERS THAT TRULY MATTER

If you can apply for a Labor Day weekend in a homeless shelter, you can successfully apply for any job.

events by KoretzkyJun 23, 20112:53 amAug 2, 2017
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HOLIDAY IN A HOMELESS SHELTER? APPLY HERE

If you want to work on Labor Day, read on.

news by KoretzkyJun 20, 201111:52 pmAug 2, 2017
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Judge Michele Towbin listens to SPJ's case.

LAUDERDALE CITY MOTTO: TO PROTECT AND SWERVE

A city attorney says he’s “unable not to respond” to charges that the police force is “not doing what it’s never done and is not doing now.” For this, he’s paid $240,000 a year.

news by KoretzkyJun 17, 201111:30 pmAug 2, 2017
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A cop stops photographers in downtown Fort Lauderdale.

A PICTURE PERFECT PROTEST

Civil disobedience with cameras gets meta when photographers cover it.

advice by KoretzkyMay 20, 20118:18 pmSep 8, 2017
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Fred Astair as a gangster, with pistol and holding a woman.

HOW TO GET FIRED AND GET EVEN

If you want to survive in this business, get used to getting fired. Then get over it.

lessons by KoretzkyMay 3, 201110:29 amAug 2, 2017
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Ninja with a fedora and press pass wielding two pencils a weapons.

5 WAYS TO FIGHT NINJA COLLEGE CENSORSHIP

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water on a newspaper, it becomes unreadable.

lessons by KoretzkyApr 27, 20113:40 pmAug 2, 2017
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Illustration of man tied up in in front of a desk with tape over his mouth.

5 REASONS WHY ADMIN HATES YOUR NEWSPAPER

If you don’t think your parents understand you, try discussing journalism with your college administrators.

lessons by KoretzkyApr 25, 20118:55 amAug 2, 2017
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WHY BEING AN EDITOR IS HARDER THAN BEING A DEAN

Next time college administrators say your paper sucks, tell ’em to go fukc themselves.

lessons by KoretzkyApr 20, 201111:50 amAug 31, 2017
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Panel from a Spiderman comic showing J. Jonah Jameson complaining about his staff sucking

6 GREEDY REASONS TO BE AN EDITOR IN COLLEGE

Here’s a reverse-clickbait headline: You WILL believe number one. But the others probably never occurred to you.

lessons by KoretzkyApr 14, 20112:08 amAug 31, 2017
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A street sign that reads, End of Road

7 MISTAKES THAT DOOM A COLLEGE JOURNALIST’S RESUME

Not sure if yours sucks? Study the signs.

college by KoretzkyApr 6, 20111:57 amAug 31, 2017
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An illustration of two old ladies playing pool

9 MISTAKES THAT CRUSH A COLLEGE JOURNALIST’S CAREER

If you want a journalism job, don’t listen to your journalism school.

news by KoretzkyMar 30, 201110:34 amAug 2, 2017
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Split photo of Helen Thomas with JFK and with Obama decades later.

THERE’S NO CRYING IN JOURNALISM

Nothing’s more hypocritical than a thin-skinned journalist, and everyone in this story is both.

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