This weekend, I teach three design workshops to several hundred high-school journalists. It’ll be my sixth visit to the Florida Scholastic Press Association‘s annual Fort Lauderdale conference.

Each year, I expect these tech-savvy students to learn the intricacies of Photoshop. Alas, most don’t even know the basics. And they don’t think it’s important.

Last year, I begged one high-school art director to study the software, and she brushed me off with, “It’s all good, Mr. K, I know Photoshop Elements.”

Well, I suppose that’s one less graphic designer who’ll replace me at a lower salary in six years.

Still, it bugs me that this new generation professes to be tech savvy but can’t be bothered with software more complex than Hootsuite. So on Saturday, I’m going to try something new and stupid.

High-schoolers still hang out in malls, right? And they’re still immature assholes, right? I combined these two traits and went to the mall myself, shooting some storefronts on my phone and Photoshopping each in 15 minutes or less…

1. Infantile

2. Sexual



3. Scatological


4. Judgmental

5. Recreational


I’ll show these on Saturday, and maybe my pubescent audience will finally grasp the pure (and puerile) power of Photoshop. But if that doesn’t persuade them, I give up.