AMERICAN MAGAZINES: GUNS GOOD, BOOBS BAD

A rack of magazines at Publix.

I took this photo in my local Publix grocery.

I would’ve taken more and clearer ones, but after just one click of my iPhone, a nice young assistant manager in a green vest told me, “We don’t allow pictures in the store, sir.”

Of course, when I asked him why, he just smiled and said, “It’s policy.” I’ve noticed whenever you ask middle managers about policies, they have no clue why those policies exist. They’re not told, or they don’t ask, or both.

Anyway, I snapped the photo because I thought it was amusing.

The magazine rack has a half-dozen gun titles for all to see, but the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is shrouded with a white plastic screen.

Yet it’s mildly transparent, which sends a confusing message about the store’s modesty. It also makes the cover seem worse than it really is: Model Kate Upton reveals only cleavage, no nipples.

If the idea is to protect our children’s fragile psyches, I’d prefer they dream of fondling breasts over barrels. Safer and quieter for everyone.

I also realize I’ve squandered my journalism career.

I’ve edited for national media outlets that cover music, celebrities, personal finance, and extreme sports. But I need to get into gun journalism. At least at my local supermarket, there are more magazines about that than any other topic.